You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life~ Zig Ziglar — I volunteer with the Meals Program at Surrey Urban Mission one morning a week. Many of the guests have the challenge of addiction and/or homelessness. Initially, I individually greeted the guests as I handed them a plate of food, but didn’t talk to anyone much. Slowly, I am starting to have more connection with the guests, even through all the busyness. I am learning the importance of intentionality, the importance of connection.
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply~ Stephen Covey — This can happen for me. For years, as a nurse, it was my role to help people find solutions. This is not appropriate in other situations. I need to focus on listening, especially in situations where I don’t have enough knowledge to have an educated opinion.
We’re often afraid of being vulnerable, but vulnerability creates genuine connection~ Stephen Covey — Another challenge for me is being vulnerable, sharing when I am in a “darker” place than I am comfortable with. I want to find a solution or resolution or dismissal of the problem before I share.
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place. ~ George Bernard Shaw — This illusion can happen for many reason, including the two I have mentioned. If I don’t actually listen, then no real connection has been made. Sharing “my logic” is not real communication. This illusion can also happen when I don’t share my vulnerabilities. The other person may feel like we have had a connection, but my needs have not been met, and I have only my relutance to share to blame.
Conflict avoidance is not the hallmark if a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and poor communication. ~Harriet B. Braiker –This was a major problem in my marriage. I avoided conflict to be nice, initially, but later because I felt I didn’t gain anything by “stirring the pot”. After a while, I didn’t care any more. It was a serious problem. It was good when the marriage ended and I began to find my voice again.
To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the ways we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide ot our communication with others~ Tony Robbins — I grew up in a rural community in Ontario, Canada with in the 1960s and now live in a neighbourhood on the west coast that is like the United Nations. I have had to learn a lot about how other people live, what is important to them and what is “normal” for them.
Successful relationships and marriages are built one minute at a time. One act of communication at a time. One act of sharing at a time.~ Dr. Henry Cloud
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14
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