God is in control – My Tapestry Blog

The Power of Forgiveness in Healing Relationships

Life is sometimes challenging, especially when you have fractured and complicated relationships. Hurtful words and actions cause you to hold grudges and harbour unforgiveness towards another person. How do you set all that aside and let bygones be bygones? It is possible when both parties choose to forgive, to let go of negativity, and to build a better relationship. This does not mean reconciliation. It means being able to create a different relationship. In this relationship, you can have positive interactions from time to time. This may look challenging when you think of a specific relationship that you are dealing with. The process starts with healing yourself, and you can set that goal.

Self-healing requires you to acknowledge feelings of anger, grief and resentment rather than ignoring them. You must also learn to control these emotions and avoid clinging to them, saying “goodbye” to the old conflict. No longer seeking revenge and letting go of resentment. Not dealing with negative emotions can lead to physical tension in your body and poor mental health. Holding on to grudges and bitterness can cause stress in your body, affecting your health and well-being. Letting go improves your blood pressure and heart health; it boosts your immune system. Walking in freedom improves your self-esteem and reduces symptoms of depression.

Were you being mistreated? Are your emotions telling you you need to set better boundaries? If you want to renew a relationship with someone who has wronged you in the past, you must protect yourself. Safeguard yourself from further harm. Make sure you set clear boundaries. Sometimes you allow bad behaviour to go on for too long, and anger and resentment set in. You need to assess why you let someone else control areas of your life. These areas should have been under your control. You can’t condone harmful behaviour or allow them access to your life without setting limits. It is essential to have personal boundaries because they define your identity. They are about what you feel, what you believe, your needs, and your values.

Sometimes things were done that can’t be undone. The consequences of your actions will still be yours to bear. Your actions were hurtful to another person but seemed necessary at the time. You need to acknowledge your role in the situation and express remorse for the pain your actions caused. This is the beginning of self-forgiveness. You must show self-compassion, accept your imperfections, and release your guilt.

Once self-healing occurs, your decision to renew the relationship is not just a gesture. It is a conscious decision made by the “healed you”. It is an act of kindness to try to restore a relationship with another person. Both affected lives will experience more peace, happiness, and healing from the unpleasant situation that existed.

Yet, if it’s not possible to let bygones be bygones, it is still necessary to forgive. Forgiveness is not only a choice you make but also a command. God says: “Forgive others as I have forgiven you.” You can trust God to be in control of the situation. God’s grace can flow through you to the other person. Forgiveness is not the same as restoration. You are not commanded to be friends with everyone or to put yourself in an unsafe situation. Sometimes, people should keep a distance from each other, for their physical or emotional well-being.

If you choose to forgive someone, you will probably have to make that choice over and over. When memories resurface, and you recall how the other person hurt you, you need to reinforce your decision to forgive. Praying about the situation and sharing with a trusted friend are helpful. Forgiveness takes time, so be patient with yourself. Remember that forgiving makes you feel better physically and emotionally. Celebrate because you are blessing yourself.

It is essential to understand the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. The key difference is that forgiveness is between you and God. It is you trusting that God will help you deal with the hardness of heart you feel towards another person. This only involves God and you. Reconciliation is focused on restoring a broken relationship between two people. Even when forgiveness is accepted, it takes a while to regain trust. Restoring friendly relationships after conflict is a process. It involves forgiveness and understanding. It also requires addressing past harms to build a more harmonious future. The attitudes and actions of both people will affect the process of rebuilding trust. Reconciliation should always be the goal in healthy situations. However, it is essential to remember that not every situation is healthy.

The next time your feelings of despair and sadness from painful memories overwhelm you, make the choice to forgive. Then choose to forgive again. Keep choosing to forgive.

Understanding ‘DV’: Trusting God’s Plan in Uncertainty

When I was growing up, I remember seeing “DV” written on invitations and comments about people’s plans at times. I interpret “DV” as meaning that plans will happen if they are in God’s plan. Over the years, I have seen it used less and less.

It was many years ago that I was told, “You always have a Plan B”. I wonder if I had been influenced by seeing “DV” used as a younger person? A while ago, my sister sent me a message. In the message, she added “DV” after she shared some plans that she had.

As I thought about making a Plan B, I wondered what I had actually been feeling. Had I been preparing for God to disappoint me? Or was I trusting that Father knows best?

If I truly accept that my plans were DV (if God is willing), then having alternate plans is wise. It’s a good idea to have alternatives. I can create an opportunity for myself. I can do something special that I have been delaying. This is a chance to treat myself.

A friend of mine often uses the phrase “Hold everything lightly”. I can do that with my plans, hopes and dreams as well. As the world becomes increasingly chaotic. I want to do better at trusting that God is in control. I am safe when I trust in His will for my life. I can also trust that He still “Holds the Whole World in His Hands”.

The Power of Stillness: Slowing Down, Trusting, and Healing

Were we really meant to rush with abandon toward some earthly hilltop finish line? Or was God telling us something in those whispers of “be still”, that all along, it was necessary to slow down, trust and heal”. ~ Morgan Harper Nichols

Fifteen years ago, I started a correspondence that continues to this day (though now we sometimes have in-person visits, too). The verse that started our connections was Psalm 46:10~ Be still and know that I am God. This phrase still comes up often in our conversations. Therefore, when I read the above quote, I wanted to explore it further.

Slow down

Carl Honore says that “the great benefit of slowing down is reclaiming the tranquility to make meaningful connections -with people, with culture, with work, with nature, with our bodies and minds.” Corrie ten Boom once said that if the devil cannot make you sin, he will make you busy. Busyness separates us from so many things that can enrich our lives. Busyness separates us from God and others.

Psalm 23:2,3 tells us that to refresh our souls, the Lord, our Shepherd “makes us lie down in green pastures, He leads us beside quiet waters.” We need time to re-focus, to spend quality time with others, to be still and know that He is God. In the stillness, in the quiet, He is there.

It was a very busy time when I first had my own home after my divorce. I had two children at home and was working as many nursing shifts as I could. I will always be thankful that we had a dog that needed to be taken for walks. It was my chance to get away from the busyness at home and get out into nature. Later, I made the choice to take time to read a book one morning a week. Mini-escapes can be important.

Trust

Long ago, when the Israelites were nearing the Red Sea, the Egyptians were pursuing them. They felt trapped and afraid and wished they had stayed in Egypt. They were told “The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm. (Exodus 14:14 NLT). Not only did God part the waters of the seas so the Israelites could walk through on dry land, He also drowned the enemy that was pursuing them. Be still, the Lord will fight for you.

In another situation, David was being hunted by his enemies. He had to wait patiently for the Lord to act, knowing that God “had his back.” David wrote Psalm 37:7~ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” It can be hard to wait. We feel like we have to DO SOMETHING! Learning to trust God in small situations makes it easier to trust Him on the big things, too.

Staying calm in a tough situation isn’t easy for me. However, when I worked as a nurse, I had to be sure that my anxiety wasn’t transmitted to my patients. Pause, take a deep breath and do the most important thing first.

Heal

Mary Beth Eiler wrote Stillness leads to clarity as we uncover what was holding us back and how to move forward. Stillness replenishes us and creates space to hear our own thoughts. Stillness is the mediator between what we feel and our ability to express it. Stillness is where we grow quiet enough to hear God’s voice and remember we are Beloved.

To truly begin to walk toward healing, we must willingly engage in the practice of stillness as we come to terms with the reality of our present.

Many changes happen in our bodies when we calm ourselves. These changes are healthier for our hearts and our minds.

When I was diagnosed with thyroid disease, I had to learn to put more importance on my health. Diet, exercise, getting outdoors and spending time with family and friends all became important.

Final words

I am retired now and taking time for myself can be a challenge. I think “I’m not busy” or “I don’t have a lot to do” and fritter away too much of my time. It doesn’t feel good to have days when I feel like I’ve accomplished “nothing”.

I am becoming aware of the importance of having some routines in my life. Days that I plan to accomplish household tasks, set time apart to volunteer, make more effort to connect with family and friends and getting exercise consistently. When I have scheduled things to do, I feel like I am taking “me” time when I do something for myself. I am thankful that my days are starting to have some rhythm. When life feels eheavy and hard, I know I need to look to the Master,

And Jesus said: “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Embracing a Forward-Looking Perspective

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
Isaiah 43:18

The beginning of a new year is a good time to be forward-looking. The world is a bit unsettled right now and thinking about that too much makes me feel “stuck”. The problems are bigger than I can do anything about.

But maybe I can make a difference in “my corner” with the people God puts in my path. Maybe what God requires of me isn’t to change the world.

And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

May I be able to live a life pleasing to God and others in 2024.

Covid-19: Re-Evaluating Life and Embracing Change | How the Pandemic Is Shaping Our Perspectives

Today, July 19, 2020 is another Sunday of living our “new normal”. The pandemic caused by Covid-19 is affecting the whole globe and it is necessary for all of us to change our behaviours. We all need to do everything we can to keep Covid from moving from one person to the next person. Many people have died, some are recovering (some very slowly) and some recovered patients are wondering if there health will be affected for the rest of their lives.

It’s not possible to “get ready” for a situation that changes everything so suddenly. We grieve the loss of the way things were just a few months ago. It’s easy to try to ignore how that grief is affecting us as we cope with all the daily changes and challenges in our lives. We don’t know when this will end. We are constantly looking for everything to be back to “normal” soon.

But, what is “normal” and was everything really so good way back then. “Back then” seems like it was a long time ago. When I look at my own life, I realize that I was taking life for granted. I retired fairly recently and was living day-by-day without any real goals or aspirations. I think I have to accept that right now isn’t the time for any BIG changes, but perhaps it’s a time of preparation.

During this season, I have become more aware of the suffering of others. I have become more aware of injustice that affects innocent lives. I have become aware of people who cannot see beyond their own wants to the needs of others and they don’t care how their actions might affect those around them. I have become aware that I had little knowledge or insight into some things that I thought were right and true. So, I might not be “doing” but I am changing.

The Clay in Potter’s Hand
“The shaping process is hard and long.
Trials come to shape us.
Our faith is stretched and tested.
But in all the stretching, pulling
and shaping His one design is
to make us into a vessel
He can use for His glory.
–Jess Syverson

What about you? Does this season make you re-evaluate your life? Are there changes you feel led to make?
~~~~~

Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5 NKJV

Finding Peace in Chaos: Trusting in God’s Control

bench blonde bright clouds — Photo by Tobi on Pexels.com

It’s a crazy world out there these days — unrest on so many fronts. The news cycle changes so quickly that by Saturday it’s hard to remember what happened on Monday. It all feels harsh and scary. Added to that, there are concerns with our families, our health, our finances, broken relationships and so much more. It’s overwhelming. mind-boggling, scary and much too easy to lose our focus.

God knows there are people and situations into our lives that are upsetting, sad and wrong. We live in a sinful work with sinful people and we personally add to “the mess”. But, too often, I think our response isn’t what God wants it to be. Philippians 4:6-7 says :Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. God doesn’t tell us to ignore the situations, but to present our requests to God.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5,6). Our response must be to turn away from anxiety and focus on the reasons why we can trust in God; the reasons why we can follow where He leads step-by-step.

In the church I grew up in, we often recited Psalm 103: 1-5 after we had communion — the Lord’s Supper that we celebrated in remembrance of Jesus great sacrifice.

Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

“Remember what the Lord has done for you as often as your heart needs it.” (unknown)

Seeking God’s Love: Finding Peace and Joy through Trust and Rest

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:16-18

I Thessalonians 5: 16-18 were the words that greeted my morning today. After a few challenging weeks with my health, it was hard to read. Words like “always, “all, “God’s will” … really?? Today, too??

Often at times like that it is good to look back and remember times that seemed impossibly hard, but then….. After the end of my marriage, my ex. wanted the money from the matrimonial home. It took many months for the house to sell. During that time, I found a home the children and I liked. However, it was too expensive and didn’t have central air. Having air conditioning was very important living in SW Ontario– plus I was a shift working nurse and needed to be able to sleep during the day.

Months went on and then… suddenly… within 48 hours… a house was sold and a house was bought!! And yes!!! It was the same house I had looked at months before. But now, the price of the home was lower and I had been able to save enough for air conditioning. Wow!! Awesome God!!

So, as I once again remember blessings-past, I can look at those words “always, “all, “God’s will” a little differently. I think that God “wills” me to remember that I can trust Him, that He is faithful, that I can talk to Him about any and all of my concerns because He wants me to. God wants to partner with me in my situation. There is peace and joy in that.

One other thing happened this morning. As I was thinking about not feeling well and the changes I am trying to make in my life, God whispered to my heart “It has taken much for Me to get your attention to take better care of yourself”. There is much love from my Father God in those words. To myself: Breath deeply — often– relax– you CAN do it!!

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I do know that I want to do a better job of partnering with God in my health situation. May I more and more trust Him as I seek His direction and rest in His care.

What are you struggling with — physical, emotional, spiritual?? God is waiting to partner with you. His love for us is a REAL thing. Rest in Him.

Afternoon nap anyone??

Navigating Life Changes: Faith, Patience, and Joyful Living

There are many times that life feels overwhelming. Sometimes I’ve taken on too many projects, sometimes I have very poor time management, sometimes there are many demands/requests from others and sometimes I have difficulty setting priorities. Right now, all this is added to learning how to adjust to a chronic health condition. There is grief and sadness connected to that, as well as the awareness that God is my healer.
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.~ Psalm 9: 10.

As I pray about these “nuisance symptoms” that challenge my days, I try to be as honest as I can be as I talk to my loving Father God. Often, these times help me sort out my feelings. In the physical realm, I have to do my part to maintain my health as best I can. Finding time for “more rest” isn’t always easy. Limiting the events I commit myself to, is hard as well. I had thought that when I was semi-retired, I would be able to get more involved — but I am not able to do that right now. I want to be useful for God, but am not sure what that looks like some days.
But if I were you, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. Job 5: 8,9

It has been important for me to learn as much as I can about symptom relief. Dietary changes, how I sleep, increasing my walking times, spending more time at “play” — all these little things help. I pray for more direction and insights through the things I hear and read — and through that “still small voice”. I also have to be aware of making adjustments when whatever I do doesn’t work for the best. Yes, it can feel like discipline. I’m thankful for the people who honestly tell me that I’ve “messed up” — done something or not done something that would make a difference.
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19: 20, 21

Patience is needed every step of the way. Patience to evaluate frequently so I can enjoy life the best I am able. There have been times when I couldn’t work at my job, but I was able to help someone else for a shorter part of a day. I may not have been able to attend an event, but I was blessed by a surprising connection with someone I hadn’t expected to see. And always, more time to pray is an awesome, blessed way to influence people and events in His Kingdom by connecting with Father God.
God has heard your prayers and your answer is on the way. Your times are in God’s hands and He won’t be late. ~ Joyce Meyer

Many years ago (1996), a patient handed me a little slip of paper with two verses on it. One of those verses was Isaiah 58:11. She said she felt the verses were for me and my family. I may not always understand how my loving Father fulfills His promises, but I know His Word is true. God will meet my needs and water (life) will flow from me to others. May I walk faithfully in trust with Him every day. With God, I can do this! Some days I feel like I am starting all over again– crawling before I walk –living life in a new way.
The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. ~Isaiah 58:18

Your life may not be affected by health changes, like mine. It may be affected by stress, or grief, or care-giver fatigue or… Whatever challenges you face in your life, I pray that as you walk with Him, you will feel more and more protected by His loving care. And that you will be able to find patience to make changes that will help you have joy in your days. Go with God!

Trusting God’s Plan: Embracing Life’s Interruptions

I feel kind of depressed today…Do you ever have the feeling that life has passed you by? Worse than that… I sometimes think that life and I are going in opposite directions. ~ Charles M. Schulz

I find it too easy to form an idea in my mind of what I think my life “should” be like. One change.from my original plans was obviously a good change. Growing up, I dreamed of becoming a teacher when I grew up. However, in my later teens, I decided to go into nursing instead. My nursing career has been a blessing to me in many ways. This brief, almost unnoticeable interruption, led me down a different path.

A life change that was difficult and I still don’t quite understand, was the end of my marriage. There have been times when moving forward felt more like trudging forward. The pain and devastation that comes from a broken family has affected us all. This interruption was a tearing up of “the plan”. It was a struggle to start over again with purpose.

“What one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Learning to accept the interruptions God sends into my life can sometimes be challenging. I say that I trust Him, but I want to understand what He is doing and why He is doing it. Many times I pray for a glimpse into the future. I need reassurance that everything is going to be OK. And… often God gives me that reassurance. I am discovering more and more that even when things don’t happen according to MY plan, all is well.

“The discipline of waiting build character and besides, rushing the process may lead to a path that misses God’s best.” Dr. Charles Stanley

Waiting to buy a new home for the children and I after my marriage ended was a difficult time of waiting. I hoped for a new beginning, but it was a LONG time coming. I found a house I liked, but it was to expensive and the house we were living in was not selling. After almost 1 1/2 years, within a week, one house was sold and another house was bought. We had a new home! The house that had been too expensive was at a lower price by then. God was so abundantly GOOD!!

Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. ~ Hebrews 10:35-36

There have been plans/dreams that God gives me and then I wait and wait. Waiting can become an interruption. It can cause a “pause” in the flow if my life. However, slowly, life experiences are helping me to live each day as He gives it to me, not matter what I think the future may hold. Sometimes life seems to progress slowly…. and sometimes I can’t keep up with all the changes. God’s timing is not my timing— and His ways are not my ways. May I live for Him each day with joy, knowing that His love for me is intricately woven through the tapestry of my life.

“If you’re God’s child, remember that your story is marching to an end that is glorious beyond the ability of your mind to conceive.” ~ Paul David Tripp

Trusting God’s Plan: Coping with Health Setbacks and Finding Hope

For a while, I have had health issues that have made me need to make adaptations to the way I live. Recently, I thought everything was improving, only to have some symptoms return. This was challenging for me.

About a week ago, I was listening to Jeremy Camp’s song “He Knows”. The words that impacted me the most were: “Let your burdens come undone..” I realized that if I wanted life to feel better, I had to DO something — to somehow change “something”.

“Beware of giving up too soon. Our emotions are not a reliable guide.” (John Piper). It is very difficult to have complete control my emotions. However, I am more able to have control over my actions. I am becoming more aware that my actions can change my emotions. As I change my focus, my adaptations become blessings because they make life feel better. I still pray for improvements in my health and for wisdom to make any changes to my lifestyle that might be helpful. However, my focus is slowly shifting towards the blessings I have instead of what I don’t have.

1- be confident that whatever is and whatever may be, God will be there. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

2- give control to God. The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still. Exodus 14:14

3- be aware of what my mind focuses on. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

4- trust the future to God Forget the former things; do not dwell on t.he past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18

And.. sharing these words by Charles Spurgeon because I couldn’t say it better myself. “The Christian knows no change with regard to God. He may be rich today and poor to-morrow; he may be sickly today and well to-morrow; he may be in happiness today, to-morrow he may be distressed–but there is no change with regard to his relationship to God. If he loved me yesterday, he loves me today. My unmoving mansion of rest is my blessed Lord. Let prospects be blighted; let hopes be blasted; let joy be withered; let mildews destroy everything; I have lost nothing of what I have in God. He is “my strong habitation whereunto I can continually resort.” I am a pilgrim in the world, but at home in my God. In the earth I wander, but in God I dwell in a quiet habitation. “From Morning and Evening – Feb. 27 (devotional )