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The Power of Forgiveness in Healing Relationships

Life is sometimes challenging, especially when you have fractured and complicated relationships. Hurtful words and actions cause you to hold grudges and harbour unforgiveness towards another person. How do you set all that aside and let bygones be bygones? It is possible when both parties choose to forgive, to let go of negativity, and to build a better relationship. This does not mean reconciliation. It means being able to create a different relationship. In this relationship, you can have positive interactions from time to time. This may look challenging when you think of a specific relationship that you are dealing with. The process starts with healing yourself, and you can set that goal.

Self-healing requires you to acknowledge feelings of anger, grief and resentment rather than ignoring them. You must also learn to control these emotions and avoid clinging to them, saying “goodbye” to the old conflict. No longer seeking revenge and letting go of resentment. Not dealing with negative emotions can lead to physical tension in your body and poor mental health. Holding on to grudges and bitterness can cause stress in your body, affecting your health and well-being. Letting go improves your blood pressure and heart health; it boosts your immune system. Walking in freedom improves your self-esteem and reduces symptoms of depression.

Were you being mistreated? Are your emotions telling you you need to set better boundaries? If you want to renew a relationship with someone who has wronged you in the past, you must protect yourself. Safeguard yourself from further harm. Make sure you set clear boundaries. Sometimes you allow bad behaviour to go on for too long, and anger and resentment set in. You need to assess why you let someone else control areas of your life. These areas should have been under your control. You can’t condone harmful behaviour or allow them access to your life without setting limits. It is essential to have personal boundaries because they define your identity. They are about what you feel, what you believe, your needs, and your values.

Sometimes things were done that can’t be undone. The consequences of your actions will still be yours to bear. Your actions were hurtful to another person but seemed necessary at the time. You need to acknowledge your role in the situation and express remorse for the pain your actions caused. This is the beginning of self-forgiveness. You must show self-compassion, accept your imperfections, and release your guilt.

Once self-healing occurs, your decision to renew the relationship is not just a gesture. It is a conscious decision made by the “healed you”. It is an act of kindness to try to restore a relationship with another person. Both affected lives will experience more peace, happiness, and healing from the unpleasant situation that existed.

Yet, if it’s not possible to let bygones be bygones, it is still necessary to forgive. Forgiveness is not only a choice you make but also a command. God says: “Forgive others as I have forgiven you.” You can trust God to be in control of the situation. God’s grace can flow through you to the other person. Forgiveness is not the same as restoration. You are not commanded to be friends with everyone or to put yourself in an unsafe situation. Sometimes, people should keep a distance from each other, for their physical or emotional well-being.

If you choose to forgive someone, you will probably have to make that choice over and over. When memories resurface, and you recall how the other person hurt you, you need to reinforce your decision to forgive. Praying about the situation and sharing with a trusted friend are helpful. Forgiveness takes time, so be patient with yourself. Remember that forgiving makes you feel better physically and emotionally. Celebrate because you are blessing yourself.

It is essential to understand the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. The key difference is that forgiveness is between you and God. It is you trusting that God will help you deal with the hardness of heart you feel towards another person. This only involves God and you. Reconciliation is focused on restoring a broken relationship between two people. Even when forgiveness is accepted, it takes a while to regain trust. Restoring friendly relationships after conflict is a process. It involves forgiveness and understanding. It also requires addressing past harms to build a more harmonious future. The attitudes and actions of both people will affect the process of rebuilding trust. Reconciliation should always be the goal in healthy situations. However, it is essential to remember that not every situation is healthy.

The next time your feelings of despair and sadness from painful memories overwhelm you, make the choice to forgive. Then choose to forgive again. Keep choosing to forgive.

The Importance of Boundaries in Healthy Relationships

It is essential to have personal boundaries because they define your identity. They are about the things you feel and believe. They encompass your needs, your values, and what you are good at. With good boundaries, you are better able to help others because your life is built on a firm foundation. You know who you are and what your goals are. As you set boundaries, sometimes you have to say “no” to others. More importantly, you learn to say “yes” to yourself.

It is difficult to set boundaries if self-expression was discouraged when you were a child. Your parents reacted with anger, emotional manipulation or disappointment when you expressed your needs or wants. Soon, you learned to use coping mechanisms that helped keep the peace. It was easier to “suck it up” than to “rock the boat”. Your life was outwardly more peaceful, but inwardly, there was disappointment and frustration.

There are people who manipulate you with guilt. They have their own reasons for you to do the things that they think you should do. If you are a “people pleaser”, this can make change challenging. You allow others to set boundaries for you and you are left with a feeling of powerlessness.

If you were raised in a home with poor boundaries, boundarilessness feels normal. You feel that those who “love” you are the best people to see your boundaries. A dominant parent sets the tone in your home, and that seems “normal”. You discover that life is easier when others make your decisions. Letting someone else set the path of your life feels simpler. This is especially true if manipulation is involved. There is pain in not having your needs met, and you learn to ignore that.

Sometimes you meet needy people, and trying to help them becomes a boundaryless relationship. They can be selfish and irresponsible. It becomes easy to lose track of your own needs. As you continue to try to please them, you walk on eggshells around them. That’s not how God wants our relationships to be. It’s essential to make sure you aren’t pouring from an empty vessel. Your needs are important, too.

Life changes when you realize that you are worthy of relationships where you are respected. Respected for your feelings, your thoughts and your ideas. A good relationship should make you feel calm, not anxious. If you are anxious or feeling guilty, it is important to assess why. Do you struggle to accept that you are worthy of your own ideas? Are you afraid you will be rejected if your view is different than the person you are talking to?

Sometimes, living a boundaryless life can feel “best”. Our bodies have learned to tense up unnecessarily. Our feelings of guilt and anxiety can feel overwhelming. It takes patience to unlearn some coping mechanisms. You need practice and the right people to support you. Should I really feel anxious in this situation? Are my ideas ridiculous, or has someone convinced me they are?

I found an article about Jesus setting boundaries that I found helpful. Jesus prayed, He had “alone time”, He rested, He pleased God, not others. Jesus also had expectations of others. He asked people what they wanted from Him.

In my life, I am still learning. I am getting better at setting boundaries. I am also improving at assessing if my own needs are being met. I think I would be described as a “social introvert”, so often others are confused about me. I need that alone time. It’s not a rejection of anyone. I am expecting a lifelong journey of assessing life and making boundaries along the way. Blessed is the person who finds joy in the journey.

The Power of Gentleness: Strengthening Relationships and Self-Care

When contemplating my next blog post, “gentleness” resonated with me. As I soon discovered, it’s a concept that is universally acknowledged as a need in our world today.

What is gentleness?

Gentleness is a strength, a strength of character. It encompassesmany parts of our personality, such as humility (having a quiet ego, being down to earth), forgiveness (being quick to let things go) and kindness (having a soft and supportive demeanour). Dr. Ryan M. Niemiec says that perhaps gentleness is the ultimate “other-oriented strength”.

Gentleness and Others

When we are gentle towards others, we show them love and respect and lay the foundation for stronger relationships. We can communicate more effectively in a safe and trusting environment and resolve conflict more quickly.

It’s easy to feel like “tender” people should toughen up. This way of thinking will not foster closer relationships with people, and some of this behaviour may seem abusive to others. People are drawn to kindness and understanding.

Gentle people intentionally avoid causing other people distress.

Gentleness and Ourselves

When we are gentle to ourselves, we don’t strive for perfection. We do the best we can in any situation. Some days all we can do is get through the day, and that’s okay.

To be gentle to ourselves, we need to know ourselves. What priorities do we have? What things should we say “no” to? It is essential to take care of ourselves in a way that is unique to who we are. We should focus on the people and things that are important to us and make time for ourselves to enjoy who we are

We can be gentle to ourselves through our interactions with others. When provoked, reacting with gentleness keeps our mind at peace and prevents the unsettledness of anger and resentment.

Gentleness and Nature

Nature gives to every time and season

some beauties of its own;

and from morning to night,

as from cradle to the grave,

it is a succession of changes

so gentle and easy that

we scarcely mark their progress.

~ Charles Dickens

May we strive to calmly “go with the flow”.

Faith Notes

Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Jesus showed us how a life can be lived with kindness, tenderness, compassion, humility and purpose.

Gentleness begins with how we feel about ourselves. When we follow Jesus, “Our worth comes from who we are in Christ. We are loved by Him, we are redeemed, we are His children for whom he gave His life so that we can be reconciled to the Father. That is how God sees us, worthy of the greatest sacrifice. And that is how we should view ourselves too, through the eyes of our Lord.”~ taken from Faithfood.blog. https://faithfood.blog/2023/03/31/finding-your-worth-in-christ/#:~:text=Our%20worth%20comes%20from%20who,the%20eyes%20of%20our%20Lord.

Coping with Grief and Loss: Understanding the Emotional Journey

Any event that changes your circumstances can cause distress, regret or disappointment. Everyone is unique in how they experience losses and changes.

Grief

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

What is grief?

Grief is the experience of coping with loss. It reflects what you love or are deeply attached to, so it can feel all-encompassing.

Loss is traumatic, so there can initially be emotional numbness. “Why don’t I feel anything?”. The initial shock and avoidance must wear off before the reality of the loss is genuinely felt. It may make people wonder if you even care about your loss. It’s important for those who wish to support someone to remember that they may need us more later than now.

There can also be “delayed grief”. My mother died after she had dementia for several years. In some ways, I had been losing her for a long time, so at the time of her death, I didn’t feel the loss much. It was more than a year later, when looking at some photos, that the tears flowed – and I missed her!!

Sometimes, something happens that brings back memories of your loss, and you may suddenly experience grief again, along with some of the effects on your body. Common “grief triggers” are birthdays, Christmas and any event special event that now cannot be celebrated the same way.

There are no right or wrong emotions when it comes to grief. Anger is a common emotion in grief. Some people find it hard to talk about their anger. It took a while after my divorce for me to recognize and acknowledge that I was angry at God. It was an important step in moving forward into what God had next for me.

Grief is not limited to the loss of people.

This list is some examples of loss. Those with a * are ones I have had personal experience with, and I may refer to them later.

Bereavement – loss of someone close to us*
Death of a pet*
Estrangement of a family member*
Retirement*
Change in a financial state
Death of an abuser – memories of abuse may get triggered
Divorce*
Losing a job
Relocating*
Abortion
Change of job
Leaving home
Loss of a friendship
Personal injury or health*
Relationship breakup
Serious illness of a loved one.

Some common effects on the Body

Loss is an extreme stressor affecting the nervous and immune systems. You may feel generally unwell, including:

headaches
fatigue
nausea
restlessness
upset stomach
not sleeping or sleeping too much
joint pains
muscle aches
palpitations
and it may be easier for a person to get sick.

The situation that affected me the most physically was my divorce. Initially, I had several of the symptoms listed. I also had problems concentrating at times and was blessed to have co-workers who were patient with me.

The estrangement of family members is “complicated.” I grieve their absence in my life yet maintain the hope of reconnection.

The loss of our dog, Sydney, was a sad time for my kids and me. Syd had been our constant caring companion through the days after the divorce. He was our “excuse” to get out, walk, or run about. He loved us unconditionally during a time when we had little energy to support each other. Five years later, when I lived in a different city, I still “expected” Syd to be waiting for me when I came home from work one day.

Grief can be unpredictable because it comes in waves. It’s one of the most frustrating aspects of life after loss. One day you feel mildly okay, and the next you feel as if the loss has just happened all over again. In addition to being frustrating, it can be exhausting. ~ Halle M. Thomas.

Grief do’s and don’ts.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. ~I Peter 5:7

Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is very important. It is important to allow yourself to grieve. I found reading self-help books very useful. It was good to know that my emotions were normal, that this, too, would pass. Guilt and shame can hold you back. When I asked myself what I was guilty of or why I felt shame, I really didn’t know. And even if there are issues to resolve, now is the time to make changes to move forward.

Be patient with yourself, but also remember not to underestimate yourself. Through trial and error, you can find things that make a day feel brighter. Walking the dog was a great way for me to get exercise. I also started paying attention to what was around me more. Focusing on the birds, trees and flowers took my mind off of other more challenging things.

One of the best things I did after my divorce was join a Divorce Care group. I had an opportunity to talk to people who understood my feelings. I had difficulty connecting with people other than the nurses I had worked with for 12 years. At Divorce Care, I could share my hurts and challenges and be understood. After our sessions were done, we continued to see each other socially. Joining a support group is a great addition to any grief recovery strategy.

After a loss, it is important to take time before making big changes in your life. Don’t cross your bridges before you get to them. Take one day at a time. If you have lost a significant other, it’s best to take time before getting into another relationship.

How can you offer help to someone after their loss?

Be present. Support them in any way they need.
Offer help. Often better to offer than to ask. It may take too much energy for them to think ahead to what they might need.
Signal that you are open to talking. Look for clues from the grieving person. It’s important to listen more than you talk
Don’t minimize someone’s loss. Allow the person to process their feelings honestly. “It’s for the best” may be what you believe to be true. However, the grieving person may not be ready to hear that.

When should a grieving person seek help?

If your feelings of sadness and despair are persistent and you are unable to experience happiness, you may be depressed. Seek help after a reasonable length of time if you are not coping with the important areas of your life and you don’t know how to move forward. Joining a support group may be a great addition to your therapy.

Sadness

When I was reading about grief, I came across some helpful comments about sadness. I have relocated several times over the years, and I soon knew that life could feel challenging for a while in a new location. I read that sadness teaches us to adapt.

To feel better in my new place, I must learn where the places I need to function are (stores, banks, etc.). Life feels better when I get settled into my new home, find out where I like to walk and am connected to a church. I evaluate what is important to me and take t action in those areas.

I can use this lesson in other ways in my life as well. When life doesn’t feel quite right: re-evaluate and change.

Final Words

Ajita Robinson, PhD. Like to look at grief as a set of phases.

Acknowledge the loss
Create space for your feelings
Understand that grief is a lifelong journey
Know that there can be joy in life post-loss.

Jesus said: “So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you”. John 16:22

(I appreciate the image at the top of this blog — the Light shines in the darkness!!)

The Power of Stillness: Slowing Down, Trusting, and Healing

Were we really meant to rush with abandon toward some earthly hilltop finish line? Or was God telling us something in those whispers of “be still”, that all along, it was necessary to slow down, trust and heal”. ~ Morgan Harper Nichols

Fifteen years ago, I started a correspondence that continues to this day (though now we sometimes have in-person visits, too). The verse that started our connections was Psalm 46:10~ Be still and know that I am God. This phrase still comes up often in our conversations. Therefore, when I read the above quote, I wanted to explore it further.

Slow down

Carl Honore says that “the great benefit of slowing down is reclaiming the tranquility to make meaningful connections -with people, with culture, with work, with nature, with our bodies and minds.” Corrie ten Boom once said that if the devil cannot make you sin, he will make you busy. Busyness separates us from so many things that can enrich our lives. Busyness separates us from God and others.

Psalm 23:2,3 tells us that to refresh our souls, the Lord, our Shepherd “makes us lie down in green pastures, He leads us beside quiet waters.” We need time to re-focus, to spend quality time with others, to be still and know that He is God. In the stillness, in the quiet, He is there.

It was a very busy time when I first had my own home after my divorce. I had two children at home and was working as many nursing shifts as I could. I will always be thankful that we had a dog that needed to be taken for walks. It was my chance to get away from the busyness at home and get out into nature. Later, I made the choice to take time to read a book one morning a week. Mini-escapes can be important.

Trust

Long ago, when the Israelites were nearing the Red Sea, the Egyptians were pursuing them. They felt trapped and afraid and wished they had stayed in Egypt. They were told “The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm. (Exodus 14:14 NLT). Not only did God part the waters of the seas so the Israelites could walk through on dry land, He also drowned the enemy that was pursuing them. Be still, the Lord will fight for you.

In another situation, David was being hunted by his enemies. He had to wait patiently for the Lord to act, knowing that God “had his back.” David wrote Psalm 37:7~ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” It can be hard to wait. We feel like we have to DO SOMETHING! Learning to trust God in small situations makes it easier to trust Him on the big things, too.

Staying calm in a tough situation isn’t easy for me. However, when I worked as a nurse, I had to be sure that my anxiety wasn’t transmitted to my patients. Pause, take a deep breath and do the most important thing first.

Heal

Mary Beth Eiler wrote Stillness leads to clarity as we uncover what was holding us back and how to move forward. Stillness replenishes us and creates space to hear our own thoughts. Stillness is the mediator between what we feel and our ability to express it. Stillness is where we grow quiet enough to hear God’s voice and remember we are Beloved.

To truly begin to walk toward healing, we must willingly engage in the practice of stillness as we come to terms with the reality of our present.

Many changes happen in our bodies when we calm ourselves. These changes are healthier for our hearts and our minds.

When I was diagnosed with thyroid disease, I had to learn to put more importance on my health. Diet, exercise, getting outdoors and spending time with family and friends all became important.

Final words

I am retired now and taking time for myself can be a challenge. I think “I’m not busy” or “I don’t have a lot to do” and fritter away too much of my time. It doesn’t feel good to have days when I feel like I’ve accomplished “nothing”.

I am becoming aware of the importance of having some routines in my life. Days that I plan to accomplish household tasks, set time apart to volunteer, make more effort to connect with family and friends and getting exercise consistently. When I have scheduled things to do, I feel like I am taking “me” time when I do something for myself. I am thankful that my days are starting to have some rhythm. When life feels eheavy and hard, I know I need to look to the Master,

And Jesus said: “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Building Genuine Connections

You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life~ Zig Ziglar — I volunteer with the Meals Program at Surrey Urban Mission one morning a week. Many of the guests have the challenge of addiction and/or homelessness. Initially, I individually greeted the guests as I handed them a plate of food, but didn’t talk to anyone much. Slowly, I am starting to have more connection with the guests, even through all the busyness. I am learning the importance of intentionality, the importance of connection.

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply~ Stephen Covey — This can happen for me. For years, as a nurse, it was my role to help people find solutions. This is not appropriate in other situations. I need to focus on listening, especially in situations where I don’t have enough knowledge to have an educated opinion.

We’re often afraid of being vulnerable, but vulnerability creates genuine connection~ Stephen Covey — Another challenge for me is being vulnerable, sharing when I am in a “darker” place than I am comfortable with. I want to find a solution or resolution or dismissal of the problem before I share.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place. ~ George Bernard Shaw — This illusion can happen for many reason, including the two I have mentioned. If I don’t actually listen, then no real connection has been made. Sharing “my logic” is not real communication. This illusion can also happen when I don’t share my vulnerabilities. The other person may feel like we have had a connection, but my needs have not been met, and I have only my relutance to share to blame.

Conflict avoidance is not the hallmark if a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and poor communication. ~Harriet B. Braiker –This was a major problem in my marriage. I avoided conflict to be nice, initially, but later because I felt I didn’t gain anything by “stirring the pot”. After a while, I didn’t care any more. It was a serious problem. It was good when the marriage ended and I began to find my voice again.

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the ways we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide ot our communication with others~ Tony Robbins — I grew up in a rural community in Ontario, Canada with in the 1960s and now live in a neighbourhood on the west coast that is like the United Nations. I have had to learn a lot about how other people live, what is important to them and what is “normal” for them.

Successful relationships and marriages are built one minute at a time. One act of communication at a time. One act of sharing at a time.~ Dr. Henry Cloud

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Embracing a Forward-Looking Perspective

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
Isaiah 43:18

The beginning of a new year is a good time to be forward-looking. The world is a bit unsettled right now and thinking about that too much makes me feel “stuck”. The problems are bigger than I can do anything about.

But maybe I can make a difference in “my corner” with the people God puts in my path. Maybe what God requires of me isn’t to change the world.

And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

May I be able to live a life pleasing to God and others in 2024.

Navigating Life Changes: Faith, Patience, and Joyful Living

There are many times that life feels overwhelming. Sometimes I’ve taken on too many projects, sometimes I have very poor time management, sometimes there are many demands/requests from others and sometimes I have difficulty setting priorities. Right now, all this is added to learning how to adjust to a chronic health condition. There is grief and sadness connected to that, as well as the awareness that God is my healer.
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.~ Psalm 9: 10.

As I pray about these “nuisance symptoms” that challenge my days, I try to be as honest as I can be as I talk to my loving Father God. Often, these times help me sort out my feelings. In the physical realm, I have to do my part to maintain my health as best I can. Finding time for “more rest” isn’t always easy. Limiting the events I commit myself to, is hard as well. I had thought that when I was semi-retired, I would be able to get more involved — but I am not able to do that right now. I want to be useful for God, but am not sure what that looks like some days.
But if I were you, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. Job 5: 8,9

It has been important for me to learn as much as I can about symptom relief. Dietary changes, how I sleep, increasing my walking times, spending more time at “play” — all these little things help. I pray for more direction and insights through the things I hear and read — and through that “still small voice”. I also have to be aware of making adjustments when whatever I do doesn’t work for the best. Yes, it can feel like discipline. I’m thankful for the people who honestly tell me that I’ve “messed up” — done something or not done something that would make a difference.
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19: 20, 21

Patience is needed every step of the way. Patience to evaluate frequently so I can enjoy life the best I am able. There have been times when I couldn’t work at my job, but I was able to help someone else for a shorter part of a day. I may not have been able to attend an event, but I was blessed by a surprising connection with someone I hadn’t expected to see. And always, more time to pray is an awesome, blessed way to influence people and events in His Kingdom by connecting with Father God.
God has heard your prayers and your answer is on the way. Your times are in God’s hands and He won’t be late. ~ Joyce Meyer

Many years ago (1996), a patient handed me a little slip of paper with two verses on it. One of those verses was Isaiah 58:11. She said she felt the verses were for me and my family. I may not always understand how my loving Father fulfills His promises, but I know His Word is true. God will meet my needs and water (life) will flow from me to others. May I walk faithfully in trust with Him every day. With God, I can do this! Some days I feel like I am starting all over again– crawling before I walk –living life in a new way.
The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. ~Isaiah 58:18

Your life may not be affected by health changes, like mine. It may be affected by stress, or grief, or care-giver fatigue or… Whatever challenges you face in your life, I pray that as you walk with Him, you will feel more and more protected by His loving care. And that you will be able to find patience to make changes that will help you have joy in your days. Go with God!

Identifying Toxic People: 9 Signs to Prioritize Self-Care

Knowledge is power. ~ Francis Bacon
Please share with anyone you think might benefit from the information in this blog post. More knowledge may have helped me make powerful changes in my life sooner.

* 9 Signs that a person is toxic
1. They talk more than they listen
2. They are never wrong
3. Drama follows them wherever they to
4. They force relationships
5. Their experience is the standard by which everything should be judged
6. They often lie
7. They lack tact and general courtesy
8. They exhibit controlling behaviours
9. They love to talk about other people

* 9 telltale signs that toxic people are getting the best of you:
1. You talk about them a lot
2. You lose your temper
3. Your self-esteem dwindles
4. You blame them for your behaviour
5. You dread spending time with them
6. You stoop to their level
7. You don’t set healthy boundaries
8. You resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms
9. Your relationship suffers

The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1
Even in the tough times of life, I do not need to be afraid. The Lord is my strength, my Hiding Place, my Rock.

God, who foresaw your tribulation has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. ~ C. S. Lewis
Even though God was with me through the storms of life, there are consequences to the neglect of myself physically and emotionally.

You see, in the final analysis it is all between you and God. It was never about you and them anyway. ~ Mother Teresa
God wants to be first in my life. Walking with Him leads me into supportive, caring relationships with healthier boundaries.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 1: 6
God isn’t finished with me yet. The best is yet to come!!

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The articles that the two sets of 9 points were taken from:
Morin, Amy. “9 Signs It’s Time to Cut a Toxic Person out of Your Life”. 15 October 2015. Psychology Today. Web 16 March 2018

Tout, Terran. “9 Signs That a Person is Toxic”. 21 November 2014. Thought Catalog. Web 16 March 2018

Trusting God’s Plan: Embracing Life’s Interruptions

I feel kind of depressed today…Do you ever have the feeling that life has passed you by? Worse than that… I sometimes think that life and I are going in opposite directions. ~ Charles M. Schulz

I find it too easy to form an idea in my mind of what I think my life “should” be like. One change.from my original plans was obviously a good change. Growing up, I dreamed of becoming a teacher when I grew up. However, in my later teens, I decided to go into nursing instead. My nursing career has been a blessing to me in many ways. This brief, almost unnoticeable interruption, led me down a different path.

A life change that was difficult and I still don’t quite understand, was the end of my marriage. There have been times when moving forward felt more like trudging forward. The pain and devastation that comes from a broken family has affected us all. This interruption was a tearing up of “the plan”. It was a struggle to start over again with purpose.

“What one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Learning to accept the interruptions God sends into my life can sometimes be challenging. I say that I trust Him, but I want to understand what He is doing and why He is doing it. Many times I pray for a glimpse into the future. I need reassurance that everything is going to be OK. And… often God gives me that reassurance. I am discovering more and more that even when things don’t happen according to MY plan, all is well.

“The discipline of waiting build character and besides, rushing the process may lead to a path that misses God’s best.” Dr. Charles Stanley

Waiting to buy a new home for the children and I after my marriage ended was a difficult time of waiting. I hoped for a new beginning, but it was a LONG time coming. I found a house I liked, but it was to expensive and the house we were living in was not selling. After almost 1 1/2 years, within a week, one house was sold and another house was bought. We had a new home! The house that had been too expensive was at a lower price by then. God was so abundantly GOOD!!

Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. ~ Hebrews 10:35-36

There have been plans/dreams that God gives me and then I wait and wait. Waiting can become an interruption. It can cause a “pause” in the flow if my life. However, slowly, life experiences are helping me to live each day as He gives it to me, not matter what I think the future may hold. Sometimes life seems to progress slowly…. and sometimes I can’t keep up with all the changes. God’s timing is not my timing— and His ways are not my ways. May I live for Him each day with joy, knowing that His love for me is intricately woven through the tapestry of my life.

“If you’re God’s child, remember that your story is marching to an end that is glorious beyond the ability of your mind to conceive.” ~ Paul David Tripp