Category: Uncategorized

Finding Peace in Chaos: Trusting in God’s Control

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It’s a crazy world out there these days — unrest on so many fronts.  The news cycle changes so quickly that by Saturday it’s hard to remember what happened on Monday.  It all feels harsh and scary.  Added to that, there are concerns with our families, our health, our finances, broken relationships and so much more.  It’s overwhelming. mind-boggling,  scary and much too easy to lose our focus.
God knows there are people and situations into our lives that are upsetting, sad and wrong.  We live in a sinful work with sinful people and we personally add to “the mess”.  But, too often, I think our response isn’t what God wants it to be.  Philippians 4:6-7 says : Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  God doesn’t tell us to ignore the situations, but to present our requests to God.  
God is in control
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5,6).  Our response must be to turn away from anxiety and focus on the reasons why we can trust in God; the reasons why we can follow where He leads step-by-step.  
In the church I grew up in, we often recited Psalm 103: 1-5 after we had communion — the Lord’s Supper that we celebrated in remembrance of Jesus great sacrifice.
Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
 who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. 

“Remember what the Lord has done for you as often as your heart needs it.” (unknown)

Trusting God’s Plan: Embracing Life’s Interruptions

 

I feel kind of depressed today…Do you ever have the feeling that life has passed you by?  Worse than that… I sometimes think that life and I are going in opposite directions. ~ Charles M. Schulz   

I find it too easy to form an idea in my mind of what I think my life “should” be like.  One change.from my original plans was obviously a good change.  Growing up, I dreamed of becoming a teacher when I grew up.  However, in my later teens, I decided to go into nursing instead.  My nursing career has been a blessing to me in many ways.  This brief, almost unnoticeable interruption, led me down a  different path.

A life change that was difficult and I still don’t quite understand, was the end of my marriage.  There have been times when moving forward felt more like trudging forward.  The pain and devastation that comes from a broken family has affected us all.  This interruption was a tearing up of “the plan”.  It was a struggle to start over again with purpose.  

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“What one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Learning to accept the interruptions God sends into my life can sometimes be challenging.  I say that I trust Him, but I want to understand what He is doing and why He is doing it.  Many times I  pray for a glimpse into the future.  I need reassurance that everything is going to be OK.  And…  often God gives me that reassurance.  I am discovering more and more that even when things don’t happen according to MY plan, all is well.

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“The discipline of waiting build character and besides, rushing the process may lead to a path that misses God’s best.”  Dr. Charles Stanley

Waiting  to buy a new home for the children and I after my marriage ended was a difficult time of waiting.  I hoped for a new beginning, but it was a LONG time coming.  I found a house I liked, but it was to expensive and the house we were living in was not selling.  After almost 1 1/2 years, within a week, one house was sold and another house was bought.  We had a new home! The  house that had been too expensive was at a lower price by then.  God was so abundantly GOOD!!

Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. ~ Hebrews 10:35-36

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There have been plans/dreams that God  gives me and then I wait and wait.  Waiting can become an interruption.  It can cause a “pause” in the flow if my life.  However, slowly, life experiences are helping me to live each day as He gives it to me, not matter what I think the future may hold.  Sometimes life seems to progress slowly…. and sometimes I can’t keep up with all the changes.  God’s timing is not my timing— and His ways are not my ways.  May I live for Him each day with joy, knowing that His love for me is intricately woven through the tapestry of my life.

“If you’re God’s child, remember that your story is marching to an end that is glorious beyond the ability of your mind to conceive.” ~  Paul David Tripp

Overcoming Codependency: A Journey to Healing and Self-Discovery

 

 

Dear God,
How do I go on from here? What’s the next step? I know things can’t go on as they are now. I have no room to grow. No one to build me up. I feel drained and defeated, except that I know You are carrying me. Oh God, when is (my husband) going to be able to see beyond himself? When are his needs going to be something I might be able to meet? … There is no happiness. No sense of anticipation about the future. No sense of accomplishment or a job well done.(taken from my book “My Tapestry — Experiencing the Love of the Designer”)

Those words were written during a very difficult time in my life.  A co-dependent has a deep and powerful need to take care of someone else. I didn’t recognize  that I was in a co-dependent relationship.  Co-dependency is defined as the addiction to a supportive role in a relationship.  A behaviour becomes an addiction when other areas of a person’s life suffer as a result.  Addictive behaviours are typically associated with activities that diminish a person’s ability to function.

For seventeen years I tried to do better, to be better, to bring happiness to someone else’ life.  There were times when all was well for a season, but there was no real change in our relationship, so it was inevitable that the hard times would return.  Inevitably, other negative situations became part of our marriage. Eventually, I was counseled to separate myself from the situation which then led to divorce.  With God’s help,  I was able to accept that I needed to learn to care for myself if I was to survive as a person and as a mother to my children.

On my own, I worked through a 12 step program.  I was able to identify five areas that I needed to work on to become a better person. As I allowed God to change me, acceptance came and I set better boundaries in my dealings with others.

Freedom from my marriage wasn’t the “solution” I had been praying for, but I had to trust God and what He had allowed to happen in my life.  There was emotional release after I admitted to myself that I was angry at God. In one book I read the comment, “God didn’t save my marriage, He freed me from it.” God is God and He loved me more than I could ever imagine. God loved me more than He loved my marriage.

After working all that through, I wanted to share my new-found “freedom to be me” with others.  It was very hard when I was attacked by some other Christians for feeling it was necessary to have some focus on loving myself.  I was told I was selfish and that I should be focusing on loving my neighbour.  I shed a few tears, was angry and didn’t know how to respond in a way that explained what I knew was right.

In the following years, I have become more and more convinced that caring for ourselves is part of caring for others.  Learning to care for ourselves – mind – body- spirit – is essential if we are to be all God want us to be for others.  We need to care for ourselves so we can better help others.  God loves us enough to help us become all we are intended to be— because He has a plan and a purpose for our lives.

 

The urgency on you coming to really discover your belovedness is this: someone else desperately needs you to confer a blessing. You can’t do it, so long as there’s a gaping hole in you. Let God love you, for someone else’s sake. Let him love you whole, for them. It’s not selfish. ~Jonathan Martin