Self care – My Tapestry Blog

The Power of Forgiveness in Healing Relationships

Life is sometimes challenging, especially when you have fractured and complicated relationships. Hurtful words and actions cause you to hold grudges and harbour unforgiveness towards another person. How do you set all that aside and let bygones be bygones? It is possible when both parties choose to forgive, to let go of negativity, and to build a better relationship. This does not mean reconciliation. It means being able to create a different relationship. In this relationship, you can have positive interactions from time to time. This may look challenging when you think of a specific relationship that you are dealing with. The process starts with healing yourself, and you can set that goal.

Self-healing requires you to acknowledge feelings of anger, grief and resentment rather than ignoring them. You must also learn to control these emotions and avoid clinging to them, saying “goodbye” to the old conflict. No longer seeking revenge and letting go of resentment. Not dealing with negative emotions can lead to physical tension in your body and poor mental health. Holding on to grudges and bitterness can cause stress in your body, affecting your health and well-being. Letting go improves your blood pressure and heart health; it boosts your immune system. Walking in freedom improves your self-esteem and reduces symptoms of depression.

Were you being mistreated? Are your emotions telling you you need to set better boundaries? If you want to renew a relationship with someone who has wronged you in the past, you must protect yourself. Safeguard yourself from further harm. Make sure you set clear boundaries. Sometimes you allow bad behaviour to go on for too long, and anger and resentment set in. You need to assess why you let someone else control areas of your life. These areas should have been under your control. You can’t condone harmful behaviour or allow them access to your life without setting limits. It is essential to have personal boundaries because they define your identity. They are about what you feel, what you believe, your needs, and your values.

Sometimes things were done that can’t be undone. The consequences of your actions will still be yours to bear. Your actions were hurtful to another person but seemed necessary at the time. You need to acknowledge your role in the situation and express remorse for the pain your actions caused. This is the beginning of self-forgiveness. You must show self-compassion, accept your imperfections, and release your guilt.

Once self-healing occurs, your decision to renew the relationship is not just a gesture. It is a conscious decision made by the “healed you”. It is an act of kindness to try to restore a relationship with another person. Both affected lives will experience more peace, happiness, and healing from the unpleasant situation that existed.

Yet, if it’s not possible to let bygones be bygones, it is still necessary to forgive. Forgiveness is not only a choice you make but also a command. God says: “Forgive others as I have forgiven you.” You can trust God to be in control of the situation. God’s grace can flow through you to the other person. Forgiveness is not the same as restoration. You are not commanded to be friends with everyone or to put yourself in an unsafe situation. Sometimes, people should keep a distance from each other, for their physical or emotional well-being.

If you choose to forgive someone, you will probably have to make that choice over and over. When memories resurface, and you recall how the other person hurt you, you need to reinforce your decision to forgive. Praying about the situation and sharing with a trusted friend are helpful. Forgiveness takes time, so be patient with yourself. Remember that forgiving makes you feel better physically and emotionally. Celebrate because you are blessing yourself.

It is essential to understand the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. The key difference is that forgiveness is between you and God. It is you trusting that God will help you deal with the hardness of heart you feel towards another person. This only involves God and you. Reconciliation is focused on restoring a broken relationship between two people. Even when forgiveness is accepted, it takes a while to regain trust. Restoring friendly relationships after conflict is a process. It involves forgiveness and understanding. It also requires addressing past harms to build a more harmonious future. The attitudes and actions of both people will affect the process of rebuilding trust. Reconciliation should always be the goal in healthy situations. However, it is essential to remember that not every situation is healthy.

The next time your feelings of despair and sadness from painful memories overwhelm you, make the choice to forgive. Then choose to forgive again. Keep choosing to forgive.

The Healing Power of Nature for Mental Well-being

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul.

Psalm 23: 1-3

For the first years of my life, I lived on farms near the Great Lakes of Canada. In later years, I recognized something important. I realized I recalled scenes from my life when I was anxious or upset. This helped me feel calmer. I remember birds and bees, flowers and trees. I recall fabulous sunsets. I remember seeing the water of a great lake meet the horizon. I have lived in many different places over the years, but I am still drawn to the natural world. I enjoyed camping, hiking, mountains, lakes and watching all kinds of animals and birds that run and fly freely.

Recently, I started reading about how being in nature affects health and well-being. City planners and government organizations are starting to take notice of the research when making plans. I read an article written by Kirsten Weir. It mentioned that one of the United Nations’ Sustainable Development Goals includes a target. This target is to give universal access to safe and inclusive green spaces. The aim is to offer accessible public spaces by 2030. In BC, Canada, where I presently live, there is one initiative. The government has ongoing projects to add extra campsites..

There are several benefits to living in an area with more green spaces. A study in Denmark found that children living in areas with more green space had fewer mental disorders. They experienced better mental health later in life. Another article stated that there is a lower risk of depression and improved concentration and attention. On a social level, when outdoors, people learn to interact with family and friends in different ways. They engage in various activities, sometimes with people they don’t even know. Research shows that children with ADHD have improved attention spans after spending time in nature.

There are health benefits to being outdoors. Exposure to natural light helps regulate the sleep/wake cycle, which in turn supports sleep. Walking and hiking can help maintain health or support weight loss. When walking first thing in the morning, the body is more likely to tap into stored fat for fuel. Exercising outdoors is usually harder and longer.

There are multiple ways in which nature supports mental activities. During a busy day indoors, a person can experience sensory overload, which can lead to tension and mental fatigue. Relaxing in a soothing environment helps a person become more creative and better at problem-solving when returning to work. A research study shows that when a person is exposed to nature scenes, the brain’s empathy-related parts engage. The scenes also stimulate areas of the brain linked to love. Areas linked to love also show increased activity.

When a person is out in nature, all five of their senses are activated. The activity helps increase mindfulness, and the little moments of life are enjoyed. I can relate to those statements. Just watching a bird in flight can make me forget other things. Seeing two birds squabbling brings a pause and a smile. A majestic eagle sitting on a pole also has the same effect. When I am in my apartment, I like watching the movement of the trees. I enjoy seeing the squirrels running about. Even the neighborhood cats capture my attention as they run around. I don’t seem to notice the apartment buildings in the distance or the parking lot close by.

There are many ways to spend more time outdoors. Plan a picnic rather than eating in a restaurant. Find a nearby hiking trail. Rent a canoe or kayak. Walk your dog. Help someone rake their leave. Grab a book and find a shady tree to sit under. Shovel snow. Do as many of your errands as you can by walking. Pause during your day to enjoy the view from your window. Have nature scenes hanging on your walls. So many ways to bring nature into your day!

After God created the world, He said it was very good. I am thankful for all the wonderful different plants, animals, land formations, bodies of water, sights, sound and smells. On a busy day, it’s good to get outside and take a deep breath. There is so much more happening around you and inside of you than you realize. Happy wandering!

The Importance of Boundaries in Healthy Relationships

It is essential to have personal boundaries because they define your identity. They are about the things you feel and believe. They encompass your needs, your values, and what you are good at. With good boundaries, you are better able to help others because your life is built on a firm foundation. You know who you are and what your goals are. As you set boundaries, sometimes you have to say “no” to others. More importantly, you learn to say “yes” to yourself.

It is difficult to set boundaries if self-expression was discouraged when you were a child. Your parents reacted with anger, emotional manipulation or disappointment when you expressed your needs or wants. Soon, you learned to use coping mechanisms that helped keep the peace. It was easier to “suck it up” than to “rock the boat”. Your life was outwardly more peaceful, but inwardly, there was disappointment and frustration.

There are people who manipulate you with guilt. They have their own reasons for you to do the things that they think you should do. If you are a “people pleaser”, this can make change challenging. You allow others to set boundaries for you and you are left with a feeling of powerlessness.

If you were raised in a home with poor boundaries, boundarilessness feels normal. You feel that those who “love” you are the best people to see your boundaries. A dominant parent sets the tone in your home, and that seems “normal”. You discover that life is easier when others make your decisions. Letting someone else set the path of your life feels simpler. This is especially true if manipulation is involved. There is pain in not having your needs met, and you learn to ignore that.

Sometimes you meet needy people, and trying to help them becomes a boundaryless relationship. They can be selfish and irresponsible. It becomes easy to lose track of your own needs. As you continue to try to please them, you walk on eggshells around them. That’s not how God wants our relationships to be. It’s essential to make sure you aren’t pouring from an empty vessel. Your needs are important, too.

Life changes when you realize that you are worthy of relationships where you are respected. Respected for your feelings, your thoughts and your ideas. A good relationship should make you feel calm, not anxious. If you are anxious or feeling guilty, it is important to assess why. Do you struggle to accept that you are worthy of your own ideas? Are you afraid you will be rejected if your view is different than the person you are talking to?

Sometimes, living a boundaryless life can feel “best”. Our bodies have learned to tense up unnecessarily. Our feelings of guilt and anxiety can feel overwhelming. It takes patience to unlearn some coping mechanisms. You need practice and the right people to support you. Should I really feel anxious in this situation? Are my ideas ridiculous, or has someone convinced me they are?

I found an article about Jesus setting boundaries that I found helpful. Jesus prayed, He had “alone time”, He rested, He pleased God, not others. Jesus also had expectations of others. He asked people what they wanted from Him.

In my life, I am still learning. I am getting better at setting boundaries. I am also improving at assessing if my own needs are being met. I think I would be described as a “social introvert”, so often others are confused about me. I need that alone time. It’s not a rejection of anyone. I am expecting a lifelong journey of assessing life and making boundaries along the way. Blessed is the person who finds joy in the journey.

The Importance of Self-Care: A Journey Through History

Self-care is a very popular topic these days, and it’s an important topic. It is how we focus on our emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. I’m pretty sure “self-care” was not discussed in my early years. I think back to when I had rheumatic fever at age seven. I had to do some things, controlled mainly by my mother, I’ll admit. I was on bed rest, and that had to be maintained, and a healthy diet was essential. When I was in nursing school years later, my obstetrics instructor taught us relaxation exercises. These were exercises that mothers in labour used. She suggested we try to use those exercises to help us get to sleep at night, too. Maybe it might have been called a concept of a plan?

The idea of self-care started in the 1950s and was focused on the medical model. The focus of care switched to being “person or patient-centered care.” Weight loss and diet were important components in some diseases. Patients became more involved in their own care. In mental health, the emphasis grew stronger on self-care, exercising, grooming, etc., so people would regain a sense of self-worth.

During the civil rights movement in the United States, self-care became very important for those fighting for change. The Black Panther Party realized the importance of self-care. They understood they needed to take care of themselves to continue fighting for change. They realized that their communities needed to have access to opportunities that would help with their physical and mental health. Audre Lorde, a Black woman, wrote in 1988,” Caring for myself is not self-indulgent. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”.

After the events of 9/11, the destruction of the Twin Towers in New York City marked a shift. Self-care became more about dealing with trauma. Self-care became a way to cope with the aftermath. Those dealing with PTSD, post-traumatic stress syndrome, and those who felt their world had been turned upside down. People changed how they were taking care of themselves. During the COVID pandemic, self-care changed again. Many deeply felt the loss of community connections, and self-care had to change again. After Mr. Trump was elected in 2016, there was a big spike in searches for articles on self-care online. I imagine that presently, in 2025, there is considerable interest again.

The Bible tells us to “Love the Lord your God above all and your neighbour as yourself”. But what does it mean to love oneself? Loving yourself is not the same as selflessness. If you only give to others, you may begin to resent others. You may be easily angered with people. You could also be filled with chronic anxiety. If your coping habits involve perfection, pleasing people, shutting down emotionally, or constantly being busy, your nervous system is overloaded. It’s essential to make a change. You need to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others with theirs. Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s how we partner with God in caring for ourselves. Jesus didn’t come because he wants us to be useful, He came because He wants us to be whole–whole in mind, body and emotions

Many factors can cause a lack of self-care. These include depression, anxiety, feeling unworthy, trauma, and lack of motivation. When you don’t care for yourself, you might feel drained of energy. You may lack patience and become irritated by those who make demands on your time. You may find it difficult to focus on tasks and your productivity decreases. It takes some introspection to become aware of one’s goals, physical /mental needs, and accomplishments. Regular quality self-care improves mental health, self-esteem and self-worth and decreases anxiety and depression.

Taking care of yourself is a very individual thing. The Canadian Mental Health Association has a list of some ideas that may be helpful. Some of these suggestions may be more important for you than others.

Get regular exercise. Just 30 minutes of walking every day can boost your mood and improve your health
Eat healthy, regular meals and stay hydrated
Make sleep a priority
Try a relaxing activity
Set goals and priorities
Practice gratitude
Focus on positivity
Stay connected.

Self-care is a way we prioritize our emotional, mental and physical wellbeing.

The Power of Gentleness: Strengthening Relationships and Self-Care

When contemplating my next blog post, “gentleness” resonated with me. As I soon discovered, it’s a concept that is universally acknowledged as a need in our world today.

What is gentleness?

Gentleness is a strength, a strength of character. It encompassesmany parts of our personality, such as humility (having a quiet ego, being down to earth), forgiveness (being quick to let things go) and kindness (having a soft and supportive demeanour). Dr. Ryan M. Niemiec says that perhaps gentleness is the ultimate “other-oriented strength”.

Gentleness and Others

When we are gentle towards others, we show them love and respect and lay the foundation for stronger relationships. We can communicate more effectively in a safe and trusting environment and resolve conflict more quickly.

It’s easy to feel like “tender” people should toughen up. This way of thinking will not foster closer relationships with people, and some of this behaviour may seem abusive to others. People are drawn to kindness and understanding.

Gentle people intentionally avoid causing other people distress.

Gentleness and Ourselves

When we are gentle to ourselves, we don’t strive for perfection. We do the best we can in any situation. Some days all we can do is get through the day, and that’s okay.

To be gentle to ourselves, we need to know ourselves. What priorities do we have? What things should we say “no” to? It is essential to take care of ourselves in a way that is unique to who we are. We should focus on the people and things that are important to us and make time for ourselves to enjoy who we are

We can be gentle to ourselves through our interactions with others. When provoked, reacting with gentleness keeps our mind at peace and prevents the unsettledness of anger and resentment.

Gentleness and Nature

Nature gives to every time and season

some beauties of its own;

and from morning to night,

as from cradle to the grave,

it is a succession of changes

so gentle and easy that

we scarcely mark their progress.

~ Charles Dickens

May we strive to calmly “go with the flow”.

Faith Notes

Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Jesus showed us how a life can be lived with kindness, tenderness, compassion, humility and purpose.

Gentleness begins with how we feel about ourselves. When we follow Jesus, “Our worth comes from who we are in Christ. We are loved by Him, we are redeemed, we are His children for whom he gave His life so that we can be reconciled to the Father. That is how God sees us, worthy of the greatest sacrifice. And that is how we should view ourselves too, through the eyes of our Lord.”~ taken from Faithfood.blog. https://faithfood.blog/2023/03/31/finding-your-worth-in-christ/#:~:text=Our%20worth%20comes%20from%20who,the%20eyes%20of%20our%20Lord.

Coping with Grief and Loss: Understanding the Emotional Journey

Any event that changes your circumstances can cause distress, regret or disappointment. Everyone is unique in how they experience losses and changes.

Grief

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

What is grief?

Grief is the experience of coping with loss. It reflects what you love or are deeply attached to, so it can feel all-encompassing.

Loss is traumatic, so there can initially be emotional numbness. “Why don’t I feel anything?”. The initial shock and avoidance must wear off before the reality of the loss is genuinely felt. It may make people wonder if you even care about your loss. It’s important for those who wish to support someone to remember that they may need us more later than now.

There can also be “delayed grief”. My mother died after she had dementia for several years. In some ways, I had been losing her for a long time, so at the time of her death, I didn’t feel the loss much. It was more than a year later, when looking at some photos, that the tears flowed – and I missed her!!

Sometimes, something happens that brings back memories of your loss, and you may suddenly experience grief again, along with some of the effects on your body. Common “grief triggers” are birthdays, Christmas and any event special event that now cannot be celebrated the same way.

There are no right or wrong emotions when it comes to grief. Anger is a common emotion in grief. Some people find it hard to talk about their anger. It took a while after my divorce for me to recognize and acknowledge that I was angry at God. It was an important step in moving forward into what God had next for me.

Grief is not limited to the loss of people.

This list is some examples of loss. Those with a * are ones I have had personal experience with, and I may refer to them later.

Bereavement – loss of someone close to us*
Death of a pet*
Estrangement of a family member*
Retirement*
Change in a financial state
Death of an abuser – memories of abuse may get triggered
Divorce*
Losing a job
Relocating*
Abortion
Change of job
Leaving home
Loss of a friendship
Personal injury or health*
Relationship breakup
Serious illness of a loved one.

Some common effects on the Body

Loss is an extreme stressor affecting the nervous and immune systems. You may feel generally unwell, including:

headaches
fatigue
nausea
restlessness
upset stomach
not sleeping or sleeping too much
joint pains
muscle aches
palpitations
and it may be easier for a person to get sick.

The situation that affected me the most physically was my divorce. Initially, I had several of the symptoms listed. I also had problems concentrating at times and was blessed to have co-workers who were patient with me.

The estrangement of family members is “complicated.” I grieve their absence in my life yet maintain the hope of reconnection.

The loss of our dog, Sydney, was a sad time for my kids and me. Syd had been our constant caring companion through the days after the divorce. He was our “excuse” to get out, walk, or run about. He loved us unconditionally during a time when we had little energy to support each other. Five years later, when I lived in a different city, I still “expected” Syd to be waiting for me when I came home from work one day.

Grief can be unpredictable because it comes in waves. It’s one of the most frustrating aspects of life after loss. One day you feel mildly okay, and the next you feel as if the loss has just happened all over again. In addition to being frustrating, it can be exhausting. ~ Halle M. Thomas.

Grief do’s and don’ts.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. ~I Peter 5:7

Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is very important. It is important to allow yourself to grieve. I found reading self-help books very useful. It was good to know that my emotions were normal, that this, too, would pass. Guilt and shame can hold you back. When I asked myself what I was guilty of or why I felt shame, I really didn’t know. And even if there are issues to resolve, now is the time to make changes to move forward.

Be patient with yourself, but also remember not to underestimate yourself. Through trial and error, you can find things that make a day feel brighter. Walking the dog was a great way for me to get exercise. I also started paying attention to what was around me more. Focusing on the birds, trees and flowers took my mind off of other more challenging things.

One of the best things I did after my divorce was join a Divorce Care group. I had an opportunity to talk to people who understood my feelings. I had difficulty connecting with people other than the nurses I had worked with for 12 years. At Divorce Care, I could share my hurts and challenges and be understood. After our sessions were done, we continued to see each other socially. Joining a support group is a great addition to any grief recovery strategy.

After a loss, it is important to take time before making big changes in your life. Don’t cross your bridges before you get to them. Take one day at a time. If you have lost a significant other, it’s best to take time before getting into another relationship.

How can you offer help to someone after their loss?

Be present. Support them in any way they need.
Offer help. Often better to offer than to ask. It may take too much energy for them to think ahead to what they might need.
Signal that you are open to talking. Look for clues from the grieving person. It’s important to listen more than you talk
Don’t minimize someone’s loss. Allow the person to process their feelings honestly. “It’s for the best” may be what you believe to be true. However, the grieving person may not be ready to hear that.

When should a grieving person seek help?

If your feelings of sadness and despair are persistent and you are unable to experience happiness, you may be depressed. Seek help after a reasonable length of time if you are not coping with the important areas of your life and you don’t know how to move forward. Joining a support group may be a great addition to your therapy.

Sadness

When I was reading about grief, I came across some helpful comments about sadness. I have relocated several times over the years, and I soon knew that life could feel challenging for a while in a new location. I read that sadness teaches us to adapt.

To feel better in my new place, I must learn where the places I need to function are (stores, banks, etc.). Life feels better when I get settled into my new home, find out where I like to walk and am connected to a church. I evaluate what is important to me and take t action in those areas.

I can use this lesson in other ways in my life as well. When life doesn’t feel quite right: re-evaluate and change.

Final Words

Ajita Robinson, PhD. Like to look at grief as a set of phases.

Acknowledge the loss
Create space for your feelings
Understand that grief is a lifelong journey
Know that there can be joy in life post-loss.

Jesus said: “So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you”. John 16:22

(I appreciate the image at the top of this blog — the Light shines in the darkness!!)

The Power of Stillness: Slowing Down, Trusting, and Healing

Were we really meant to rush with abandon toward some earthly hilltop finish line? Or was God telling us something in those whispers of “be still”, that all along, it was necessary to slow down, trust and heal”. ~ Morgan Harper Nichols

Fifteen years ago, I started a correspondence that continues to this day (though now we sometimes have in-person visits, too). The verse that started our connections was Psalm 46:10~ Be still and know that I am God. This phrase still comes up often in our conversations. Therefore, when I read the above quote, I wanted to explore it further.

Slow down

Carl Honore says that “the great benefit of slowing down is reclaiming the tranquility to make meaningful connections -with people, with culture, with work, with nature, with our bodies and minds.” Corrie ten Boom once said that if the devil cannot make you sin, he will make you busy. Busyness separates us from so many things that can enrich our lives. Busyness separates us from God and others.

Psalm 23:2,3 tells us that to refresh our souls, the Lord, our Shepherd “makes us lie down in green pastures, He leads us beside quiet waters.” We need time to re-focus, to spend quality time with others, to be still and know that He is God. In the stillness, in the quiet, He is there.

It was a very busy time when I first had my own home after my divorce. I had two children at home and was working as many nursing shifts as I could. I will always be thankful that we had a dog that needed to be taken for walks. It was my chance to get away from the busyness at home and get out into nature. Later, I made the choice to take time to read a book one morning a week. Mini-escapes can be important.

Trust

Long ago, when the Israelites were nearing the Red Sea, the Egyptians were pursuing them. They felt trapped and afraid and wished they had stayed in Egypt. They were told “The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm. (Exodus 14:14 NLT). Not only did God part the waters of the seas so the Israelites could walk through on dry land, He also drowned the enemy that was pursuing them. Be still, the Lord will fight for you.

In another situation, David was being hunted by his enemies. He had to wait patiently for the Lord to act, knowing that God “had his back.” David wrote Psalm 37:7~ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” It can be hard to wait. We feel like we have to DO SOMETHING! Learning to trust God in small situations makes it easier to trust Him on the big things, too.

Staying calm in a tough situation isn’t easy for me. However, when I worked as a nurse, I had to be sure that my anxiety wasn’t transmitted to my patients. Pause, take a deep breath and do the most important thing first.

Heal

Mary Beth Eiler wrote Stillness leads to clarity as we uncover what was holding us back and how to move forward. Stillness replenishes us and creates space to hear our own thoughts. Stillness is the mediator between what we feel and our ability to express it. Stillness is where we grow quiet enough to hear God’s voice and remember we are Beloved.

To truly begin to walk toward healing, we must willingly engage in the practice of stillness as we come to terms with the reality of our present.

Many changes happen in our bodies when we calm ourselves. These changes are healthier for our hearts and our minds.

When I was diagnosed with thyroid disease, I had to learn to put more importance on my health. Diet, exercise, getting outdoors and spending time with family and friends all became important.

Final words

I am retired now and taking time for myself can be a challenge. I think “I’m not busy” or “I don’t have a lot to do” and fritter away too much of my time. It doesn’t feel good to have days when I feel like I’ve accomplished “nothing”.

I am becoming aware of the importance of having some routines in my life. Days that I plan to accomplish household tasks, set time apart to volunteer, make more effort to connect with family and friends and getting exercise consistently. When I have scheduled things to do, I feel like I am taking “me” time when I do something for myself. I am thankful that my days are starting to have some rhythm. When life feels eheavy and hard, I know I need to look to the Master,

And Jesus said: “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Seeking God’s Love: Finding Peace and Joy through Trust and Rest

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:16-18

I Thessalonians 5: 16-18 were the words that greeted my morning today. After a few challenging weeks with my health, it was hard to read. Words like “always, “all, “God’s will” … really?? Today, too??

Often at times like that it is good to look back and remember times that seemed impossibly hard, but then….. After the end of my marriage, my ex. wanted the money from the matrimonial home. It took many months for the house to sell. During that time, I found a home the children and I liked. However, it was too expensive and didn’t have central air. Having air conditioning was very important living in SW Ontario– plus I was a shift working nurse and needed to be able to sleep during the day.

Months went on and then… suddenly… within 48 hours… a house was sold and a house was bought!! And yes!!! It was the same house I had looked at months before. But now, the price of the home was lower and I had been able to save enough for air conditioning. Wow!! Awesome God!!

So, as I once again remember blessings-past, I can look at those words “always, “all, “God’s will” a little differently. I think that God “wills” me to remember that I can trust Him, that He is faithful, that I can talk to Him about any and all of my concerns because He wants me to. God wants to partner with me in my situation. There is peace and joy in that.

One other thing happened this morning. As I was thinking about not feeling well and the changes I am trying to make in my life, God whispered to my heart “It has taken much for Me to get your attention to take better care of yourself”. There is much love from my Father God in those words. To myself: Breath deeply — often– relax– you CAN do it!!

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I do know that I want to do a better job of partnering with God in my health situation. May I more and more trust Him as I seek His direction and rest in His care.

What are you struggling with — physical, emotional, spiritual?? God is waiting to partner with you. His love for us is a REAL thing. Rest in Him.

Afternoon nap anyone??

Navigating Life Changes: Faith, Patience, and Joyful Living

There are many times that life feels overwhelming. Sometimes I’ve taken on too many projects, sometimes I have very poor time management, sometimes there are many demands/requests from others and sometimes I have difficulty setting priorities. Right now, all this is added to learning how to adjust to a chronic health condition. There is grief and sadness connected to that, as well as the awareness that God is my healer.
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.~ Psalm 9: 10.

As I pray about these “nuisance symptoms” that challenge my days, I try to be as honest as I can be as I talk to my loving Father God. Often, these times help me sort out my feelings. In the physical realm, I have to do my part to maintain my health as best I can. Finding time for “more rest” isn’t always easy. Limiting the events I commit myself to, is hard as well. I had thought that when I was semi-retired, I would be able to get more involved — but I am not able to do that right now. I want to be useful for God, but am not sure what that looks like some days.
But if I were you, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. Job 5: 8,9

It has been important for me to learn as much as I can about symptom relief. Dietary changes, how I sleep, increasing my walking times, spending more time at “play” — all these little things help. I pray for more direction and insights through the things I hear and read — and through that “still small voice”. I also have to be aware of making adjustments when whatever I do doesn’t work for the best. Yes, it can feel like discipline. I’m thankful for the people who honestly tell me that I’ve “messed up” — done something or not done something that would make a difference.
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19: 20, 21

Patience is needed every step of the way. Patience to evaluate frequently so I can enjoy life the best I am able. There have been times when I couldn’t work at my job, but I was able to help someone else for a shorter part of a day. I may not have been able to attend an event, but I was blessed by a surprising connection with someone I hadn’t expected to see. And always, more time to pray is an awesome, blessed way to influence people and events in His Kingdom by connecting with Father God.
God has heard your prayers and your answer is on the way. Your times are in God’s hands and He won’t be late. ~ Joyce Meyer

Many years ago (1996), a patient handed me a little slip of paper with two verses on it. One of those verses was Isaiah 58:11. She said she felt the verses were for me and my family. I may not always understand how my loving Father fulfills His promises, but I know His Word is true. God will meet my needs and water (life) will flow from me to others. May I walk faithfully in trust with Him every day. With God, I can do this! Some days I feel like I am starting all over again– crawling before I walk –living life in a new way.
The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. ~Isaiah 58:18

Your life may not be affected by health changes, like mine. It may be affected by stress, or grief, or care-giver fatigue or… Whatever challenges you face in your life, I pray that as you walk with Him, you will feel more and more protected by His loving care. And that you will be able to find patience to make changes that will help you have joy in your days. Go with God!

Identifying Toxic People: 9 Signs to Prioritize Self-Care

Knowledge is power. ~ Francis Bacon
Please share with anyone you think might benefit from the information in this blog post. More knowledge may have helped me make powerful changes in my life sooner.

* 9 Signs that a person is toxic
1. They talk more than they listen
2. They are never wrong
3. Drama follows them wherever they to
4. They force relationships
5. Their experience is the standard by which everything should be judged
6. They often lie
7. They lack tact and general courtesy
8. They exhibit controlling behaviours
9. They love to talk about other people

* 9 telltale signs that toxic people are getting the best of you:
1. You talk about them a lot
2. You lose your temper
3. Your self-esteem dwindles
4. You blame them for your behaviour
5. You dread spending time with them
6. You stoop to their level
7. You don’t set healthy boundaries
8. You resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms
9. Your relationship suffers

The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1
Even in the tough times of life, I do not need to be afraid. The Lord is my strength, my Hiding Place, my Rock.

God, who foresaw your tribulation has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. ~ C. S. Lewis
Even though God was with me through the storms of life, there are consequences to the neglect of myself physically and emotionally.

You see, in the final analysis it is all between you and God. It was never about you and them anyway. ~ Mother Teresa
God wants to be first in my life. Walking with Him leads me into supportive, caring relationships with healthier boundaries.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 1: 6
God isn’t finished with me yet. The best is yet to come!!

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The articles that the two sets of 9 points were taken from:
Morin, Amy. “9 Signs It’s Time to Cut a Toxic Person out of Your Life”. 15 October 2015. Psychology Today. Web 16 March 2018

Tout, Terran. “9 Signs That a Person is Toxic”. 21 November 2014. Thought Catalog. Web 16 March 2018